I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
