JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
