I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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