Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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