the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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