He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
