dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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