Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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