It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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