Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
