I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
