did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm just crazy horny about you
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
