My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
