real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize