I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
