go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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