if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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