i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Houston, we have a squirter
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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