This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
