I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
