after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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