i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
