He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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