puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
