Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
