highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
