I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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