i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
