Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I looked at my own cervix.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
