i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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