I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
