There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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