So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
