You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize