dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
