he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
