he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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