Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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