Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
