I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize