i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize