I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
