That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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