She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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