True but thats because hes a fetus.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
