i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
