You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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