Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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