There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
