Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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