there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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