I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
