A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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