Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
