Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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