I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
