how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I believe in your delicious
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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