I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
