i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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