Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
