I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
