craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
