just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You are the jesus of drinking
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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