So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
